“Flies Are No Fools” was all about them – those unpleasant people in our lives who swat because, I guess, they don’t know what else to do.
But how about me? A fly swatter?
Well, yes…I’ve had my moments. And let me tell you, it doesn’t feel any better to swat than to be swatted.
Walking in the fly swatter’s shoes, I’ve learned a thing or two.
- Look hard, beyond defensiveness, justification, blame, irresponsibility and whining, and own up to our disgusted look, sarcastic remark or revengeful action.
- Know when and around whom we’re more likely to swat. When I’m hungry, feed me or everyone’s in danger. When I feel emotionally unsafe, I need to find an EXIT and take a long walk.
- Identify what we’re reacting to – maybe the store clerk reminds me of my fourth grade teacher who embarrassed me in front of the class.
- Stop. Drop. Roll. Wait, that’s if we’re on fire. Come to think of it, that might not be too far off.
- Stop. Look. Reflect. When we follow this rule, we give ourselves time to choose the right action instead of reacting, which seldom turns out well.
If these tips fail to put out the flames of anger and resentment, or if they don’t stop the babbling or the icy silence that comes along with fear, or if nothing on this list comforts us enough to take away the pain – when worse comes to worst and we swat when we meant to stop, we can say, “I’m sorry.”
First, to ourselves. Because we are hurting, and we hurt even more when we hurt someone else. We can also apologize to the other person as long as it doesn’t put us in harm’s way.
Notice any fly swatting tendencies you may want to eliminate?
WRite wHere I’m supposed to be – Dear God, I’m getting ready to swat. Quick, help me to stop and look at myself.
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