There’s a person in my life who is really bugging me.
And I do mean really. Like wake-up-in-the-morning-and-there-she-is-in-my-head bugging.
I twirl with self-doubt, questioning what’s up with our brief interactions. Even when I stop spinning, I’m still dizzy from confusion. I let her ruin hours of a day before I ever get started on work. And letting her go is only a temporary solution at best. She always comes back, in my head anyway.
A friend who didn’t know anything about my concerns called last week to talk about a disturbing interaction with this same person.
“That woman has a problem,” she said.
Here’s the peculiar part about the “problem” woman, I’ve only been face-to-face with her twice. We’ve spent less than an hour in each other’s company. Well, excluding the hours I’ve entertained her in my thoughts.
As much as I appreciate my friend’s support, and I want to believe her when she says “It’s not you, it’s her,” I know better.
It is me.
Oh, no doubt, the woman is strange. Most people would agree her behavior is unacceptable. But since I’m the one reacting, even if it’s only rehearsed conversations in the bathroom mirror, I’m the one with an issue.
Why am I letting her bother me? What’s going on inside me?
Self-reflection is the only solution.
Is there someone hanging around in your head who might be encouraging you to reflect?
WRite wHere I’m supposed to be – I’ve yet to come up with a fitting answer to any of the questions about me. No spiritual solution has shown itself since I don’t think “punch her in the face” is comparable to “turn the other cheek.” However, I’m catching a glimpse of myself, the first step to getting better.
On the side: The photo is one I took of friends, and I just happened to catch myself as a reflection in the window.
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interesting…that ends up being exactly what I have to do when faced with these types of situations…as a buddhist and even most schools of psychological thought lead that direction…the other person does what they do, but how we handle it will be the only way that we can change the situation…hope that made some sense or helps!
Oh, Linda, it’s so great to see you show up here and to read your comment. It makes perfect sense. Thanks! Yes, I’d love to change situations in some easier way but looking at myself is it.
Kim, looking inside is a wonderful blog/story…How appropriate for each and everyone of us , especially the one the lives inside my body and mind and spirit ! :))
error – ‘especially the one WHO lives…delete ‘the’ ! :))
I knew exactly what you were saying, Sheri, even without the correction. I so often like to blame them, look at them, talk about them – in fact, I used to do a lot of that. Problem ended up being I didn’t feel any better until I started looking inside. But sometimes it’s soooo hard especially when they … : )
Loved this silhouette, can I use this image for my uni assignment?
Linda is one of my friends who commented.
I actually found the silhouette at a random site that borrowed it from another site so I never tracked down it’s original source. You’re welcome to use it; just wish I could tell you who to credit but I don’t know.
Thanks for stopping by,