Quit taking it personally.
Even popular blogger Seth Godin says “this is tough advice.”
He follows up with, “Here’s the thing: it’s never personal. It’s never about you.”
His reasoning goes like this: no one really knows us, they only know themselves. Therefore, their reactions are about them.
I’m pretty cool with that information when I’m the one having an allergic reaction to someone. After I glare at him or her for a few days, I typically ease my way back to the source of both the problem and solution, me.
However, when I think someone is reacting to me and they’re backing away, or I’m not included when I think I should be, or I’m confronted with a misunderstanding …
It’s personal and I’m taking it that way.
When that happens, I’m no longer looking inside myself for anything, and I don’t care what Seth says.
About three weeks, though, I got some relief while riding in the car with my husband. He acted shocked listening to me talk about my hurt feelings. It was about a situation he overlooked with friends. A situation that happened two years ago. He said, “I had no idea you felt that way.”
I figured if he sincerely didn’t know what was going on with me after we’ve been married 33 years, and I’ve talked about what happened on and off for more than 100 weeks – why, why, why would someone I met this year, anyone I’ve known for a whole month, someone I see a couple of times weekly for an hour or so … why would they know me?
And if they don’t know me, why would their reactions have anything to do with me? Are you with me?
WRite wHere I’m supposed to be – I’m fairly logical. An equation that reads [them + their reactions = them + their reactions] helps me more easily accept I’m not part of that problem. Thanks to my husband and Seth, maybe I can get a grip on QTIP.