For a long time I couldn’t name it. All I knew was Betty was good for me, and because of her, I got better. I set out to follow her example, whatever it was.
“Just think about where you get it and what size before you have it done. You may not always want others to see it,” I said when our daughter called to ask what I thought about her getting a tattoo. She was on her way with a friend to a tattoo parlor.
The two-inch gecko on her lower back is easy to cover even with a bikini.
When our son wanted his hair bleached, I wore gloves to apply the solution. We’d watch his hair lighten until it was the color he wanted, then wash it quickly before it changed even lighter.
Prior to that style, he let his hair grow to ponytail length. After it was too hot to wear long, he got a crew cut.
Friends commented about how happy I must be when he came to his senses.
What they didn’t know was I encouraged him to wear his hair the way he wanted.
Years have gone by since funky hairstyles and a tattoo graced our home, but thinking back I can now identify the gift.
Betty gave me permission, and I passed it along to our kids hopefully more times than not.   
WRite wHere I’m supposed to be – How liberating to allow ourselves and others to be perfectly who we are in the moment. And the bonus – permission typically gives us space to make better choices.