“Sure. Knock yourself out. No, really. Hammer to the head, works every time.” Rachel Caine
I’m a nonfiction reader, so I never picked up one of Rachel Caine’s books. However, when I stumbled onto her words about putting a hammer to my head, I figured we had to be related – maybe identical twins or closer.
I laughed at her quote about as much as I cried with relief when a friend said, “You don’t have to try so hard, you know.” I appreciated her advice to stop even though I never missed a beat. I kept right on trying hard.
A few years later, my overseas pal wrote to me, “You sure do try hard.” I sure do, my friend. Although Isabel and I have never met, she could tell over social media and from 10,000 miles away in Australia that my superpower was to try hard, harder, hardest.
High school friends recognized it 45 years ago. They voted me “Most Dependable,” the closest senior superlative to trying hard. I had a few moments of pride over my title, but finally ended up too tired to brag.
Interestingly enough, if you flip two of the letters, the i and the r, tried turns into tired.
To answer the question at the beginning, I didn’t think up this topic. I began journaling about trying hard out of exhaustion. I couldn’t keep up with my responsibilities, but I didn’t know how to give up any of them. The more I tried to talk myself into relinquishing some of my obligations, the more panicked I felt instead of relieved and rested.
I was afraid no one, including God, would do things I thought needed to be done, give attention to people and events that needed to be noticed, and carry on conversations (turned counseling) that needed to be spoken.
It was all up to me. Every bit of it. I had to keep everyone and everything together, fix anything broken emotionally and spiritually, and, in general, make life better.
Some of you know how overwhelmed I felt without me having to say a word. You feel uptight and a little short of breath reading this because you’ve felt it too. You might still be feeling it. Me too some days, but I’m not preoccupied like I used to be with trying hard. God allowed me to hit a bottom so low that all I could do was let go and look up.
That’s what this book is about, how I replaced trying hard with trusting God. It sounds simple enough, right?
I hope you’ll hang around and leave a comment ‘cause we’re …
In This Together,