“Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.”
Victor Kiam
When the deal fell through, I fell also.
On my face.
Literally.
Which is why in my last blog post I talked about the mom who told her young son, “Fix your face.” Her words reminded me that I couldn’t fix mine, and neither could anyone else except God, and, so far, he hasn’t.
It’s also why I wasn’t sure there would be a part two to “Fix Your Face” – I wasn’t sure I was willing to share the emotional pain of the fall.
When the accident happened, I was out to dinner the next evening in sunglasses and laughing with friends about tripping over the cement block in the coffee shop parking lot in Wilmington, N.C. I fell moments after finalizing details for a contract to franchise a dog magazine. Since the contract didn’t align with our talks, I was almost certain the deal was off. Even with evidence in writing, I didn’t love and respect myself enough to confront the discrepancies.
The fall represented that attitude – “not enough love and respect for myself.” So did the next year of my life that I spent hating the bump left in the fall’s aftermath. Knowing I struggled daily, my husband encouraged me to talk with a plastic surgeon about scraping my nose down to size.
“Not until I love myself the way I am, then I’ll consider it,” I said.
The bump wasn’t my nemesis; self-contempt was. I got up from the gravel knowing I needed a fix for how I let others treat me, as well as a fix for how I treated myself. In light of that reality, I began calling my nose the “love bump.”
The fall prompted changes that were, in hindsight, necessary to bolster enough love and respect like …
- Practicing gratitude (despite the bump on my nose) because my teeth were in my mouth instead of on the pavement.
- Speaking up to people I didn’t like and people I did like and people. Any people.
- Warming up to the idea that I was worth standing up one more time than I fell down.
The accident happened in 2007. Because of an invitation in 2013 from a friend (orchestrated by God, I’m sure), I had the opportunity to consult at no charge with a respected plastic surgeon. She said my nose was an easy fix. She also said there was a chance the bump would callous after surgery the same as it did after the fall, and it may possibly grow back and possibly grow bigger.
Our appointment ended, but not before I reflected on my commitment, “Not until I love myself the way I am, …” Instead of reconstructing my outsides, God had worked inside. I wish he had opted for both, but the inside job was most important, for sure.
When I left the surgeon’s office, I knew I was closer to being fixed than if I had signed up for surgery.
How often do we opt for a quick fix instead of lasting results? What’s manifesting outside of you that really needs fixing on the inside?
WRite wHere I’m supposed to be – I am more and more receptive to God’s reconstruction, and, no, not of my nose.
I feel for you! I\’ve had my nose broken several times (none, alas, in a fall…and you might guess the reason for \’alas\’). It kind of looks like a slalom course. Very Olympic.
The segue into the need to realize and embrace one\’s own worth is nicely done. I read this several times; it\’s a keeper.
Tying in the Olympics during this time is well done on your part, Andrew. 🙂 Funny you mention that too – I was out with the same friends I talked about in the post and one of them said the other\’s nose looked like a ski slope, It was in fun and it\’s an ongoing joke since high school. Also very Olympic and I didn\’t even catch it.
Much thanks for reading and encouraging. I appreciate your steadiness in commenting even though I post inconsistently.
Your posts are well worth waiting for, Kim. You bring light and understanding…and smiles.
Kim, I never noticed the bump on your nose. In fact, the first time I met you I thought \”what a beautiful woman–inside and out.\” That accident was definitely not a coincidence. I love this post (and can absolutely relate to it). I hope you will continue to share more of yourself with the world!
Mary, thank you for your kind words.
You\’re right – the accident was no coincidence. Talk about the school of hard knocks. It was necessary to wake me up and set me on a different course.
I missed you today! Hope you\’re doing great.
So well said, Kim – your closing line will stay with me for a while!
If you ever need a reminder, Shel, you can just throw yourself down in a parking lot. It\’s very eye-opening, ego-diminishing, and self-evaluaiton enhancing. I have to say though, it\’s made me more \”fierce\” about getting better, but not before it knocked me off my feet (punny, but also true).
Funny you should mention \’fierce,\’ Kim – it\’s on tomorrow\’s Friday Five because the lesson learned made you fiercer – and, by sharing, us too!
Thanks for sharing it, Shel. I\’m honored to be on your blog.
Kim,you are so right.I find you have to love yourself first (even with all our imperfections).Plastic surgery only shows on the outside.I\’ve only become aware that GOD is in control for the past 6 months now.I\’ve been trying to keep a positive attitude in every circumstance.Everything happens for a reason ?
Helgi, it should be natural for us to love ourselves since God does it without reservation, but I don\’t think many of us do it with ease. I\’ve always said \”Everything happens for a reason,\” but I haven\’t always liked it. 🙂 I believe the fall happened to open my eyes to self-love.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. John and I are fortunate to have you in our lives.
It is said that every person you meet (good or bad) was meant to cross your path. Maybe to learn a lesson from ? I\’m fortunate to have you and John cross my path.
Outside I am in need of shedding pounds. Inside I can\’t stop eating sweets and food in general! Great post.
Thanks so much for sharing, Patty. I can relate! There\’s a book called \”Made to Crave\” that I think addresses food cravings. I can\’t recommend it because I haven\’t read it, but it\’s on my reading list for one of these days.
I love you Kim Henson! I know God does too. Thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us every time. I\’m giving you the Premio Dardos Award given to blogs that show cultural, ethical, and personal values. I\’m posting the award Feb. 24th on my blog. When you get the award, you get to pass it on to at least 2 blogs you want to award. No rush. Blessings my friend. Hope to see you soon!
I love you too, Andy! I totally missed this comment and I\’m not sure how. I appreciate you so much. Headed to your blog now and, yes, I\’ll pass this along. Many thanks, my friend!
From Facebook –
Sharon Tarleton Smith, Rita Nein, Anjana C. Duff and 12 others like this.
Steve Mathisen Ouch!
February 20 at 1:02am · Unlike · 1
Mildred Gunter I can\’t believe this!!! I hope that it looks worse than it feels!!!
February 20 at 1:05am · Unlike · 1
Kim Henson Steve Mathisen and Mildred Gunter, I know it\’s hard to believe, but it didn\’t hurt a bit physically. Emotionally, well, that was another story.
February 20 at 1:10am · Like · 2
Meg Perrino And the original love bump is still in tact?
February 20 at 4:13am · Unlike · 1
Patti Simon What did you fall on?? besides your face! …floor, street, stairs??? OUCH! I fell on my face once and broke 5-6 back teeth!! Hope your teeth arfe intact!
February 20 at 9:20am · Unlike · 1
Mildred Gunter Whew! I thought it had happened again.
February 20 at 10:23am · Unlike · 1
Dianne Creel But~~you are still lovely!
February 20 at 11:01am · Unlike · 1
Dana Johnson So sorry for your black eyes!
February 20 at 12:22pm · Unlike · 1
Sharon Thomaszfski Ouch!
February 20 at 4:54pm · Unlike · 1
Jackie Waters Miles it looks painful
February 20 at 5:19pm · Unlike · 1
Dan Gray Hope you will be OK, neighbor.
February 20 at 6:07pm · Unlike · 1
Debbie Johnson I remember being one of those friends that you were brave enough to face and share dinner with the next evening. You knew that we accepted you just the way you are, even with a little added color to your face in all the wrong places. What a great article you wrote as a result of that fall. There\’s something good that we can make out of anything that happens to us.
February 20 at 6:10pm · Unlike · 2
Jeanie Johnson Oh my! I don\’t remember this! Looks like you were ready to play some football!~
February 20 at 7:56pm · Edited · Unlike · 1
Kim Henson Meg Perrino, it\’s still in tact and so is the scar. i had to have stitches as well. Happy my teeth are in tact also.
February 20 at 8:03pm · Like · 1
Kim Henson Patti Simon, I fell over the cement block in a parking lot in Wilmington. So sorry about your fall. I\’m grateful I didn\’t lose any teeth. This is a blog post and the link is up there if you want to read it.
February 20 at 8:05pm · Like · 1
Kim Henson Oh, no, Mildred Gunter … not again! I decided to finally write a blog post about it.
February 20 at 8:06pm · Like · 1
Kim Henson Dianne Creel, thanks so much. I sure could have used that reassurance about 6 years ago.
February 20 at 8:08pm · Like
Kim Henson Thanks, Dana Johnson. It happened in 2007 and I\’m just now writing a blog post about it. Link is up there if you\’d like to read it.
February 20 at 8:08pm · Like
Kim Henson Sharon Thomaszfski and Jackie Waters Miles, it\’s hard to believe, but it didn\’t hurt. Wasn\’t pretty, but also wasn\’t painful. Just now writing a blog post about it. Link is up there.
February 20 at 8:10pm · Like
Kim Henson Thanks, Dan Gray. It happened before we moved next door and I\’m just now writing a blog post about it.
February 20 at 8:11pm · Like · 1
Kim Henson Thanks so much, Debbie Johnson, for your comment and especially for being one of those friends. Y\’all were wonderful that evening, as always. It helped to laugh, especially since I had a rough year ahead with accepting my new improved face (and attitude). you!
February 20 at 8:14pm · Edited · Like
Kim Henson Jeanie Johnson, I hid out after I realized the bump wasn\’t temporary. That I was going to have it till death do us part. A little funnier now, but it wasn\’t then. Thanks for not noticing it.
February 20 at 8:17pm · Like · 1
Mildred Gunter I never really noticed any difference in your face. My nose makes yours look like it has been worked on! I liked your blog..
February 20 at 8:51pm · Unlike · 1
Jeanie Johnson xoxoxo!
February 20 at 9:54pm · Unlike · 1
Dale Booth Dang, Kim don\’t be doing that.. Its much easier to get hurt than it is to mend.. Be careful
February 20 at 10:09pm · Unlike · 1
Kim Henson Thanks for not noticing, Mildred Gunter. My family assures me it\’s not obvious even when I whine and whine. You are beautiful so don\’t say a word about your nose. Trade you!
February 20 at 11:02pm · Like
Kim Henson Jeanie Johnson, lymi.
February 20 at 11:03pm · Like
Kim Henson Promise that was my last fall, Dale Booth. But it was great material for a blog post.
February 20 at 11:04pm · Like
Anjana C. Duff Great post!
February 20 at 11:06pm · Unlike · 1
Paula Vaught Adams It looks like you were getting ready to play football and had painted your face the way the pros do.
February 20 at 11:43pm · Unlike · 1
Carol Anne Wright Swett Darlin\’, I tweeted, G+\’d and shared on F/b.
O.U.C.H.
February 20 at 11:50pm · Like
Kim Henson Paula Vaught Adams, football – my late life crisis. You know that\’s true since I won\’t even run around the block.
February 20 at 11:56pm · Like
Kim Henson Thanks so much, Anjana C. Duff. Great seeing you today.
February 20 at 11:58pm · Edited · Like
Kim Henson I sure appreciate, Carol Anne Wright Swett. It didn\’t hurt a bit on the outside, oh, but my insides … you know how that goes. Love ya!
February 20 at 11:58pm · Like
From Facebook –
Susannah Friis, Jean Steen, Angela Rosati and 2 others like this.
Susannah Friis This has given me much food for thought Kim You\’re very wise, you know. x
February 20 at 3:37pm · Unlike · 1
S. Kim Henson Thanks so much, Susannah Friis. You do the same, as well as challenging me (and other women) to step up, get involved and make a difference.
February 21 at 3:32pm · Like · 1