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“The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.” C.S. “Jack” Lewis in the movie Shadowlands

I’m not sure what my urgency was about the afternoon I called my husband and daughter who were together and tiling her and her husband’s shower floor. 

I tried to explain why we couldn’t be happy unless we accepted suffering and sorrow as part of it. I tried to get them to understand the interconnectedness of happiness and suffering. I remember feeling desperate for them and me to understand the emotions went hand-in-hand. 

They didn’t get it probably because I didn’t get it myself. I still don’t sometimes, but I’m understanding more and more as I live it.  

And I understand more as I watch and read about others’ suffering and how they’re living it and coming out the other side with grace and gratitude. 

It’s like C.S. Lewis in the movie about his life titled Shadowlands. He didn’t get it either until his dying wife forced him to face her mortality. Joy said,  “What I am trying to say is that the pain then is part of the happiness now.”

“That’s the deal.”

Here’s a 4-minute clip of the scene from the movie that shows it better than I can write it. “The pain then is part of the happiness now. That’s the deal.” (Shadowlands, 1993)

In This Together, 

FYI: I’m blogging my book titled On The Other Side of Trying Hard: Healing, Happiness, and Holiness. Because the blog posts will eventually be an entire manuscript instead of stand-alone stories, some posts may leave you hanging. I hope you’ll hang in here with us anyway ‘cause a happy ending is coming. Each blog post title includes the chapter title first. The phrase in parentheses is one subheading within the chapter. I’d love to hear your reflections, questions, and suggestions. I’m over-the-top grateful you’re here. 

I have something for you!


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