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“God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” Voltaire

Besides asking for qualifications, editors and publishers ask, “Who is your audience?” I figured out my readership when I figured out what I needed to write about.

I’m writing for friends like me who struggle to do what we want when those we love want something different. It’s okay to choose what we want. It’s okay to have our own lives. When I wrote this paragraph, I thought, I wish someone had written that for me.

Actually, someone did. My then 13-year-old daughter wrote it down and gave it to me for my 40th birthday. She decorated a gift box with puff paint and filled it with trinkets, glitter, and a purple piece of construction paper that she had written on and folded to fit inside. It said, “Life.”

I kept her gift all these years because I’ve longed for what was in it.

I’m writing for those of us who need permission. Many of us have been told the way to be valuable is to do what others want us to do. I want us to recognize that doing what others want is very different from serving others. 

When we get hold of our purpose and do what God intends (not what others intend), we’ll realize our true value. Until then, I’m concerned that feeling stuck in someone else’s expectations and judgment when we don’t live up to those expectations underlies our depression, anxiety, obesity, sickness, sleeping disorders, mental illness, addictions, and even suicide.

I’m writing for those of us who’ve already overdone it and, on top of exhaustion, we feel frustrated, confused, and guilty about why our good deeds aren’t fulfilling us like they do others. I believe it’s because we’re not living our own lives.

Are you doing too much of what others want and not enough of what you want? If so, I’d like for us to support each other in getting our own lives – the ones God has in mind for us.

In This Together,


I have something for you!


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