
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and … Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37-38 NIV
Jesus gave us two primary directives: love God and love people.
I heard it broken down this simply at the church across the street. I felt desperate to attend an in-person service and they reopened in May. My plan was to go there until my home church opened its doors. Turns out, I joined Solid Rock last week.
It seems God planned this out well in advance even though I flinched several times that first Sunday and wondered if I’d return.
“We’re a church of Love, yes we are.”
“Love God. Love people.”
“I will fulfill my destiny,” which I figured meant the same thing – love God, love people.
The church’s four core values hung boldly at the front, printed on silk banners. They said even more about, well, you know: We forgive. We respect. We give. We serve.
If you’ve hung around my blog and other social media much at all, you know my slogan is #gettingyourownlife #whilelovingthepeopleinit. I decided a while back that, just like with my separate hash tags, living my life needed to be separate from loving my people because it hurt too much to love some of them. I put distance between them and me because of pain.
I needed my purpose as a form of protection, not as a way to put myself out there more.
I wanted my purpose to stand between my people and me, not draw them closer.
I planned how to safely live my purpose, not how to suffer while I served.
What I had in mind was love God, live my purpose, interact online with people.
That was, until I walked across the street for a second Sunday and heard a sermon titled, “Committed To My Calling.” I can’t make this stuff up.
In short, here’s what he preached, “Your Christian calling, your church calling, and your career calling are one and the same – to love God and love people, to serve God and serve people, and to honor God and honor people.”

I still wondered how to keep God close while keeping people at a distance. Don’t misunderstand me, I L-O-V-E people … well, the best I know how to love them. In fact, loving people (my way) was the problem. Loving people my way caused all sorts of suffering in my life and in theirs too.
Maybe an accurate substitute for “I love people” was I’m addicted to people.
I loved them so much that I hurt myself trying to take care of them. Not in the way Jesus suffered for people, but in the way 12-step programs tell us not to. The steps say don’t enable, which means don’t do for people what they can do for themselves, but we do it anyway.
I loved people so much that I made decisions that were best for them and then carried out those decisions. I worked harder at their lives than they did.
I loved them so much that I may have literally “loved them to death” if God hadn’t stopped me.
The next thing I heard in the sermon, “Our purpose never changes and we can’t retire from it.”
How about run from it? Can we do that?
How about I never come back to this church? How about that?
I have to tell you, hearing my safe plans sermonized away sounded like a death sentence, not a way of life. I thought, I’m way too tired from doing this the wrong way to learn how to love people without trying to change them, fix them, or find something wrong with them. It’d be easier to find another church.
But then I heard what I’ve listened to a thousand times before, maybe ten thousand times. This time I really, really, really heard it.
“Of course you can’t love people the right way. If you could, you’d already be doing it, and you wouldn’t need Jesus.”
I needed Jesus.

I needed …
To sit still with Him, not tell someone else they needed quiet time.
To let Him heal me, not try to talk Him into healing someone else.
To allow Him time and space to prepare me for what He wanted me to do, not instruct someone else about what I thought He wanted them to do.
I’m not talking about spending 15 minutes in the morning with Jesus before I began the important stuff. I’m talking about the most important stuff in my day being my time with Him.
Until that day of hearing, really, really, really hearing …
I didn’t spend time daily with Jesus. I was too busy with others – not loving, serving, and honoring them, BUT making suggestions, trying hard to give them what I thought they needed, and trying even harder to get what I needed from them.
People were my gods.
When I wasn’t idolizing them, I idolized the pain they caused. I spent way too much time talking about and trying to straighten out them and myself. I went back and forth trying to fix relationships, seldom including God, which meant never finding a solution.
I meant well, but my good intentions paved a road to hell just like the quote says. I wasn’t looking or acting more like Jesus because I wasn’t hanging out with Him.
Rashawn Copeland, author of Start Where You Are: How God Meets You in Your Mess, Loves You Through It, and Leads You Out of It, said it best in an interview with Hope Writers, “I’m no good to anyone if I’m operating out of myself.”
The more time I spent with Jesus, the less I flinched about loving people.
When we finally come to our wits’ end, to the end of ourselves, to the end of the thread we’re hanging by – we’re bushed enough, beaten down enough, and broken enough that Jesus can finally bless us enough. That way, we can go out into a bushed, beaten down, and broken world and live our Purpose.
Is there anyone else sidetracked and missing out on living your purpose because of relationships and the pain they’ve caused?
Jesus, bless us with loving You so that we can love our people well.
In This Together,
Kim
Great work Kim! Sounds like that church was calling your name. Now, what are you going to do about it? Keep listening to Jesus and you will hear his voice because you are one of his sheep, you always were. Now you can love freely and not have a toxic love!
I am so proud of you!! Love you Kim!
We’re in this together,
Lyn
Awe, Lyn, I hope you know what an encouragement you are to me and others, and to hear “I am so proud of you.” That means a lot. I love you, sweet friend! ❤️
Oh, yeah, you asked a question. What am I going to do about it? I guess finish that book … finally. I need your prayers. Thank you for everything.
I love the new song out that says “Gotta keep it real simple, bring everything back to ground zero, love God and love people.” It’s the absolute truth, and commanded by God. I’m so happy for you Kim. So now, iron sharpens iron. Let’s help one another, and our loved ones to grow in Christ. Love you!
Thanks so much, Christy, for your comment, the song that I’ve listened to a dozen times, and your encouragement. Yes, we’ll keep on. I love you and our sweet friendship. ❤️
Good food for thought! I don’t think we can really love others like Christ commands us until we become more Christlike ourselves! That is an ongoing project !
Tricia, I’m with you. I don’t think it’s possible.
I’m not sure how I got so offtrack with this, but I’m beyond grateful for the guidance at Solid Rock. God knew I needed some direction, so he directed me right across the street.
Thanks for welcoming me “home.” I’m looking forward to our book study. ❤️
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28Christy Young, Susan Blanton Roche and 26 others
30 Comments
Sally Smith Amen!
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Kim Henson Thanks for the text and song, Sally Smith. I posted it on here. It’s so good. <3
Kim Henson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mo4f9uGKFA…
God-shaped Hole
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God-shaped Hole
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Lyn Snyder Sally Smith, Beautiful words and music! We should listen to the song at least everyday!🙏👏👏🥰
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Kim Henson Lyn Snyder, I think so too. I’ve listened at least 25 times already. I get stuck on a song and replay it for weeks. <3
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Lyn Snyder Amen 🙏
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Kim Henson Thanks so much, Lyn Snyder ... for your comment here, on my post, and your text, which I need to answer. Oops! I love you, friend. <3
Dana Johnson Amen 🙏🙏
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Kim Henson Thanks so much, Dana Johnson. I appreciate your encouragement. <3
Edit or delete this
Mary McKerihan Wilson I love this, Kim! And I needed to read this today on so many levels.
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Kim Henson Mary McKerihan Wilson, thanks! I'm grateful it met a need. 🥰 I know you'll understand this - I planned to take it down this morning because something about it just didn't feel quite right, but a friend texted to thank me for it before I even got out of bed. Isn't that funny? Us writers ... geez! lol 😀
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Mary McKerihan Wilson Kim Henson I am glad you didn't take it down.
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Kim Henson Mary McKerihan Wilson, thanks. Me too. <3
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Kim Henson Lyn Snyder, thanks for your text yesterday. 🥰
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Lyn Snyder Kim Henson , Always!!🥰
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Joan Pisani Beautiful Kim!
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Kim Henson I appreciate your encouragement, Joan Pisani. xoxoxo 🥰
Christy Young I commented on the website. Love this blog! I also think that’s one of the coolest photos I’ve seen.
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Kim Henson Awe, thanks, Christy Young ... for this comment and the one on my blog post. ❤️ The photo is from Pixabay.com. I need to give them credit more often even though it's not required. I forget more often than I remember, and I shouldn't because it's a great site!
PIXABAY.COM
1.8 million+ Stunning Free Images to Use Anywhere - Pixabay
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Love
Delilah Lewis Amen 🙏
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Kim Henson I appreciate you and your comment, Delilah! xoxox 🥰
Delilah Lewis Kim Henson love you too
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Connie Rogers Amen ... missing you at Coastal Power Women.
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Kim Henson Thanks so much, Connie Rogers. I miss you! 🥰 I never remember to rsvp and order until it's too late. Maybe I'll have a memory one day. lol 😀
Jacque Myers Amen!
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Kim Henson Thanks for reading and commenting, Jacque Myers. <3
Sybil Lee stand strong and tall you are needed....
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Kim Henson Awe, thank you, Sybil Lee. You're an inspiration. 🥰
Dana Johnson Amen
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Kim Henson Thank you, Dana Johnson. 🥰