“God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves … until we can.” Anonymous
“Did you hang up on me? “ he said.
“No, I figured God did.”
Back when phones had receivers to hang up, a family member called to confront me about something I didn’t think he’d understand. Relieved the phone died while I tried to reason with him, I hung up the receiver and walked away thinking he wouldn’t call back.
I probably shouldn’t have answered a second time since I really believed God ended the first call, but I did. I’m laughing (now, not then) when I recall that the second half of his cross-examination didn’t go any better than the first.
Several years later, my daughter and I went through a rough patch. We tried pushing through until it was obvious we were getting nowhere during our phone conversations. I hung up numerous times when reason went out the window. Also, I decided against answering when she called back.
She mentioned recently that getting off and staying off the phone made her rethink her part in our conversations. It did the same for me.
It didn’t dawn on me, though, that I hadn’t come up with the idea to set a boundary. God had, and I’d been slow to catch on.
I recently ended up on the phone with someone who argued over a simple suggestion I made about a real estate sign. Until that moment, I didn’t recognize how often our discussions turned to debates and how ridiculous I was for hanging around.
Why didn’t I hang up?
This post isn’t only about phone interactions that we need to end. I just happened to have these as examples.
Setting a boundary (like hanging up) is the way out of any conversation or confrontation or uncomfortable situation that bogs us down. I think often about what a friend said, “I’ve never once regretted setting a boundary, but many times I’ve regretted not setting one.”
How easily do you set boundaries? Do you need to set more?
In This Together,
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Agin you’re spot on. Lessons I learned along the way. Often many decades later I applied them. Thank you for writing these and I pray they help others to realize it’s ok to have boundaries. It’s completely necessary! I only wish I’d set healthy boundaries much sooner. I would have saved a lot of tears , hard feelings, and restless nights. These never get old. Remind Me♥️
I love you connie
Oh, me too, Connie! I’m still not good at setting boundaries, but you’re so right. They are necessary and KIND. Much kinder than fighting for what I want. I wish I had had the courage to set them a long time ago and put in place consequences too. Life would have been easier and calmer.
I love that you understand and don’t mind leaving comments to say so. Much love to you and your girls! ❤️